This blog is my attempt to heal through writing.
After having two miscarriages last year, I am trying to decide just what that means in terms of motherhood. When people ask me do I have children, how should I answer? Am I a mother or what? So far, it seems that larger society seems to think and treat me as if I'm not. To be very honest, I don't really feel like a mother. A part of me feels like I shouldn't because there are no babies to show for it. But on a deeper level at the core of my heart, I realize that I still want the recognition as mother. Haven't I earned it? Is having two living babies the only way to validate my motherhood? Is that right? Is that even fair? It seems like it's unjust for me to not only lose my babies, but to lose the title of mother seems to just add salt to an already open sore WOMB.
So what do you think? Are mothers without babies really even mothers at all? How should us babyless mothers be treated? Should we expect a gift or card on mother's day? Or should we pretend that we're the same women we were before we loved and lost our babies?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I wonder the same thing. I've been pregnanct. I suffered through miscarriage. So what does that make me now?
ReplyDeleteI just found you through Glow in the woods. I'm so sorry for your losses. I have "met" another blogger through glow that is stuggling with the same questions. She uses B as her name, you can find the link to her blog if you click on one of her posts. If you would like more online connections, there is a site called lost and found and connections abound - check it out and see if it is a good fit for you.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion you are a mother even if your pregnancy only lasted a day. From the moment you get a positive you are filled with hopes and dreams and you are working to protect your child. That is what makes you a mother. I'm so sorry that our idiot societies don't see it that way. It's not fair. Please take care and stop by Glow whenever you need to, there are good people there.