Well Hello World

Okay, it's been ages.

Updates...not pregnant (I still do not have the courage to try again...yet. Maybe. One day. Sooner rather than later).

So I moved back home after being almost 1,000 miles away for almost a year.

I returned to work (same profession new location).

A beautiful miracle baby joined our family (husband's cousin) who has given me the audacity to hope and believe.

I started seeing a therapist to deal specifically with my medical post traumatic stress disorder.

I am more physically active and have lost 30lbs to date (I am now a size 4).

If I had a baby to hold in my arms, love, cuddle, and nurse with my husband at my side, I would be happy beyond measure.

Instead, I am working at a job that is thankless and stressful (regardless of my salary increase) while pretending that I am not depressed and sad longing for two babies that will not come back to me in the physical sense.

I wish I had something grand to share after all this time, but I don't so I can't.